The Skinny on Fat
I’m fiercely against the practice of wearing solid
colored tee shirts by fat people. Have you ever see
a really obese person laboriously walking down the
street in a bright, over-sized orange shirt?
Where’s the rest of the Fruit of the Loom guys?
Actually, I don’t think there’s an orange Fruit of
the Loom…but what if that shirt was…purple? They’d
be like one really, really big grape…or a plum. A
plum with a hot dog it its hand. I feel like
they’re just begging to be made fun of, and that’s
not cool ‘cause it’s never funny making fun of fat
people...unless there aren’t any fat people around.
And whatever food you’re eating is not allowed to match the color of your shirt. I once saw a really fat guy in an orange shirt eating an orange? Just kidding, that’s not true. Fat people don’t eat fruit.
It could be worse though. That shirt could be soaking wet (see Six Flags in the summer). That can’t be comfortable. I know I’m uncomfortable looking at it. Their shirt is all suctioned to their body. It looks like their belly button is trying to swallow their shirt.
You never see really fat people doing roofing.
I just feel like obese people are the last people that need to be riding those motorized grocery carts, you know. If you get out of breath walking around a grocery store, that’s a hint and a half that that you need to be doing a bit more walking. And the messed up thing is, have you seen how small the little basket is on the front of those things? Ironic. That thing’ll hold exactly one loaf of bread, a half gallon of milk and an egg. Sometimes someone is there to help them, though. This is the Spotter. They’re responsible for pushing another cart next to them. This person always looks miserable.
But not as miserable as me when I get stuck behind them.
And whatever food you’re eating is not allowed to match the color of your shirt. I once saw a really fat guy in an orange shirt eating an orange? Just kidding, that’s not true. Fat people don’t eat fruit.
It could be worse though. That shirt could be soaking wet (see Six Flags in the summer). That can’t be comfortable. I know I’m uncomfortable looking at it. Their shirt is all suctioned to their body. It looks like their belly button is trying to swallow their shirt.
You never see really fat people doing roofing.
I just feel like obese people are the last people that need to be riding those motorized grocery carts, you know. If you get out of breath walking around a grocery store, that’s a hint and a half that that you need to be doing a bit more walking. And the messed up thing is, have you seen how small the little basket is on the front of those things? Ironic. That thing’ll hold exactly one loaf of bread, a half gallon of milk and an egg. Sometimes someone is there to help them, though. This is the Spotter. They’re responsible for pushing another cart next to them. This person always looks miserable.
But not as miserable as me when I get stuck behind them.
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