The Door Dilemma
July 01, 2008 Filed in: Humor
I really hate it when you’re on a date, and you’re
walking into a restaurant that has two sets of
doors really close together before you actually get
inside the restaurant. You’re trying to be a
gentleman and hold the door open for your lady
friend, right? First door? Easy. But it’s the
moment in between doors that’s tricky.
She’s through the first one and your still outside, so to get to the next door before she does you pretty much have to run or hop skip or do some football spin move to get around her. And that...well that’s just stupid.
I only have one solution.
Step one: Go through door one first, but hold the door behind you.
Step two: As she steps in, release door one and step towards door two.
Step three: Reach for door two. Open.
Step four:Twirl left hand and bow as if to
say “You may enter.”
Crisis averted.
Of course this all becomes less of a problem the longer you date because after the first few dates men just stop holding doors open completely. Then we’re all bewildered when women say “You never hold the door for me anymore.” We’re all like, “Whaaaat? I always held the door for you that time.”
So then the next time we hold a door open, we’re all proud. Women notice that and are, at once, amused and irritated. Then later they tell their girlfriends about how proud their boyfriend was just because he held a door open for them once in the past year. Then they each take turns recounting the last stupid thing their boyfriend did...except for one of them. This one says her man is perfect. All the other women secretly hate her and when she isn’t around, they say her boyfriend is probably cheating on her.
She’s through the first one and your still outside, so to get to the next door before she does you pretty much have to run or hop skip or do some football spin move to get around her. And that...well that’s just stupid.
I only have one solution.
Step one: Go through door one first, but hold the door behind you.
Step two: As she steps in, release door one and step towards door two.
Step three: Reach for door two. Open.
Step four:
Crisis averted.
Of course this all becomes less of a problem the longer you date because after the first few dates men just stop holding doors open completely. Then we’re all bewildered when women say “You never hold the door for me anymore.” We’re all like, “Whaaaat? I always held the door for you that time.”
So then the next time we hold a door open, we’re all proud. Women notice that and are, at once, amused and irritated. Then later they tell their girlfriends about how proud their boyfriend was just because he held a door open for them once in the past year. Then they each take turns recounting the last stupid thing their boyfriend did...except for one of them. This one says her man is perfect. All the other women secretly hate her and when she isn’t around, they say her boyfriend is probably cheating on her.
|