I love breakfast food, but hardly ever eat it for
breakfast. A triple shot of espresso gets me going in
the morning (and I hate it when people call it
expresso). I’m a tidy person and always feel a little
better when I come home to a clean house. I like using
a different voice in drive-thru lines. I can never
remember the rules to any card game. I am never late. I
hate folding laundry. I love runner’s high. I take
promises seriously. I like to dance. I hate trying to
get a bartender to notice me. Why do people I don’t
know wave at me? I wish the day had 36 hours…or that I
didn’t require sleep. I’ll go to a movie by myself and
not feel alone. I love discovering new music. I’m good
at my job. I hate talking about my job. I like to use
ellipses in email to...you know...simulate rhythm of
speech. I hate it when things don’t work they way
they’re supposed to. I hate the “hold” music on any
customer service call. I hate trying to have one of
those yelling conversations in a bar or club; then you
do that universal “I can’t hear you,” thing where you
point at your ear and shake your head and then mouth "I
can't hear you." I love it when a girl says, “Let’s get
out of here.” (That never happens). I love it when
someone with a tatoo says, “I just can’t commit to
anything.” My first inclination when I see an
attractive woman is to see if she’s wearing a ring. At
least if she is, I have an excuse for not talking to
her. I hate it when people say, “That’s hilarious,” and
then they don’t laugh. I find it amusing that the
childrens’ game, Sorry, reinforces the concepts of
betrayal and shameless gloating all in one great
primary colored package. Oh and sarcasm… “Sorry”? Who
are they kidding? I love how tv shows’ names will get
shortened by fans as if saying the extra word was too
much, e.g. Gray’s, Idol, Laguna, or Desperate. Or you
could use an inside clue only other viewers would get,
a la “What happened on Wisteria Lane?” Although I find
myself using them, I hate every email/texting
abbreviation or trend in existence, e.g. lol, btw, wtf,
omg, b/c, bfn, CUL8R, using numbers as letters, typing
in all caps, smilies, and alternating lowercase and
uppercase letters as in “TotALLy PiMp.” wtf? I can
never remember the difference between i.e. and e.g.
When notherners say “wicked,” it makes me smile inside.
I hate it when people don’t return their shopping
carts. I hate it when people sweep crumbs on to the
floor in someone’s home. I love being invited to
dinner…anywhere. Toenails and a fingernails are only to
be cut in one’s bathroom. I hate first dates. I love
first kisses. I hate last goodbyes.